Tag: funny

100 Word Stories – Police Blotter – First Down!

Happy Wednesday friends.  Here’s another 100 word story based off an item from the police blotter in my hometown of Burlingame, CA.  Enjoy!

First Down
By Grant Baciocco

“But I told you mom, I don’t want to play.” Sarah yelled, trying to get out of the kitchen door.

“You’re a Kimball!  And Kimball’s play football!” Stephanie yelled at her daughter.  “Now throw me that ball.”

“We are in the house!” Sarah replied, nervously holding the football in her hands.  “You can’t play ball in the house.”

“My house.  My rules.  Now throw it to me.”

“No!” Sarah yelled, “This is silly!”

“Twenty four!  Fifty two” Stephanie yelled.

“No!  Mom!” Sarah began to panic.

“Hut!  Hut!” Stephanie grunted loudly.

“Mom, please!”


Sarah screamed as her mother charged her.

Murchison Drive, 10:42 p.m. Saturday Police received a call from a woman who said her mother had just tried to tackle her.

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The story behind Unfriend.

It’s out! Another, brand new, Throwing Toasters song! It’s called UNFRIEND and it is available on iTunes, Bandcamp, CDBaby, Amazon.com and just about everywhere else that singles are available.
This song was written a year or so ago, right around the time I was just getting completely frustrated with Facebook and being on it. I absolutely love how this song turned out and the magic Steve Goodie did with the instrumentation and the background vocals.  I think it is some of the most fun rock ‘n’ roll from Throwing Toasters in a long time.
When I wrote this song, I was pretty done with facebook. If you know me, or have looked for me on the social media site you know I don’t have an account. After several years, I began to realize that the social media service was just not my thing.  The examples given in this song are pretty close to reasons why I left.
While recording this, Steve made the comment that he thought it was funny that at the end I say it’s my mom, making the whole song about her.  That made the baby in the second verse me. Or a sibling. I thought this was pretty funny. I’d never thought of it that way. In my mind the song is about three separate people.
For the record, I was still friends with my mom when I left Facebook. The final verse is not about her. Honest.
So give UNFRIEND a listen. Rock out to it and let me know what you think. If you like it, consider requesting it on the Dr. Demento show by following the following link: http://www.drdemento.com/request/
And while you’re at it, be sure to Like me on….oh…never mind.
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The story behind Frankie

TT_FrankieCoverSo, I have a new song available for sale today.  You can download it at the following locations:

iTunes | Amazon | CDBaby.com | Bandcamp

It’s the first, strictly digital single I’ve released and I’m really proud of how it turned out.  It’s called Frankie and it is the story of a sarcastic, talking cat named Frankie.  It is based on a true story.  And even though I say that before each time I play it live, people don’t believe me.  But it’s true, it’s based on a true story.

My good friend, and fellow puppeteer, Alison Mork has a pet cat named Frankie.  Yes, that’s Frankie picture as the album art for the single (photo courtesy of Alison Mork at the Frankie Archives).  Alison and I talk on the phone regularly and she’ll often update me on something cute that Frankie has done since the last time we spoke.

Back in 2012, she excitedly called me and told me that Frankie had actually spoken to her.  Apparently, one morning she had looked at Frankie and said, “You are just a cute little gentleman.”  Frankie, meowed in return but his meow, more of a squeak actually, sounded exactly like he was saying, “I am.”

So I laughed and said, “Great, not only does he speak, he’s full of himself.”

A few days later, Alison told me that he had done it again.  She had said something complimentary to Frankie, and Frankie had replied with a meow that sounded like he was saying, “I know.”

And the idea for the song was born.  I wrote it rather quickly, took me just about a day, sitting at my computer figuring out the lyrics.  It was the first song I’ve written on mandolin, a departure from all my other songs which were written on guitar.

I’ve super happy with how the final song turned out.  Steve Goodie did an amazing job on the instrumentation on the track.  It’s everything a bluegrass fan (me) could hope for.  I do wish my vocals were a little better but I’m never happy with how I sound, so that’ll never happen.

Another interesting tidbit about Frankie.  A lot of the time authors base characters in their books on real people.  Some even write real people into their books.  I’ve sort of done that with this song.  Of course, Frankie is based on a real cat, but whenever I sing the song I always picture the reporter as being my good friend, author, Mur Lafferty and as far as I’m concerned, that’s who the reporter is!  So Mur has a cameo in my song.

Anyway, that’s a little of the backstory on my new song Frankie.  I hope you get a chance to check it out.

I’ve also sent the track to Dr. Demento, so if you have a moment, CLICK HERE and request Frankie by Throwing Toasters on The Dr. Demento Show.  Please, just one request per week.

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