So here we are again.

It seems that it was just yesterday I was writing about losing weight before I went to Toronto. I gave myself 20 Days to lose 10 pounds before heading off on a Puppet Up Tour. I did that. I accomplished that goal. But then, I ate like a pig in Toronto and haven’t stopped since. I’m now the heaviest I’ve been since 2005 when I lost 80 lbs. luckily, I’ve not gone back up to what I was at before I lost the weight, but I’m working my way there.

And here I am, my 40th birthday looming and I can’t stop eating. Store I left for Australia, I actually had to go buy new shirts and pants because the ones I currently have are too tight. I don’t look at myself in the mirror anymore because I can’t stand to and I now abhor getting my picture taken.

So, simply, something has to change. I think the main reason I tend to eat without any conscience is because I lost 80lbs. I think, subconsciously, my Brian says, “Look, you lost 80lbs before, you can do it again. Easy.”

Thing is, it wasn’t easy. It took over a year of eating right and exercising. I do exercise daily, but it don’t eat right at all. So, I’m gaining weight. Needing new clothes. And, of course, I get depressed about how I look and that makes me want to eat more.

I worked out harder than normal in Australia, but I was also eating way too much. So, though I haven’t stepped on the scale since I’ve been back, I’m sure I’m even heavier.

So, here we go again. My birthday is May 20 and I would like to loose 10 pounds by then. Then I’d like to lose another 10 by June 20th. Just in time for the beach. Kidding, I hate the beach.

I’ve got to make this work. I’ve got to. It’s getting to the point where it not only won’t be easy to loose the weight , it’ll get close to impossible.

So, starting tomorrow, I will start planning out what I eat. I will use the Weight Watchers tracker that I’m paying for monthly and rarely loose. I will loose 10 pounds by my 40th Birthday. I will loose another 10 by June 20th. I have to. No excuses.

I will do this by focused eating and ramped up exercise. This does not mean starving myself as I have done in the past. I will really focus on working out daily and ramping those workouts up. I want to lose weight and get stronger. I don’t want to buy any more clothes that are one size up.

Another thing that has motivated me is that I’m trying out bombfell.com. They are a clothing service that sends you a box of clothes a month that are picked out just for you by a stylist. I want to start dressing better and I want to look better. These clothes cost a little more and, as such, I’ll have more focus on not wasting that money.

Okay, here goes everything.

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